Your body undergoes a remarkable series of biochemical changes the moment you start thinking lusty thoughts—a process that ideally culminates in a completely mind-blowing orgasm that is far more relaxing than a handful of tranquilizers.
By Ann Douglas
Here’s a between-the-sheets look at everything your health teacher forgot to tell you about the science of sex.
Ladies, Start Your Engines
The female sexual response system is not unlike a car on a cold winter morning. It needs a little time to warm up time if it’s going to function at its best. Sure, you can force it out of the driveway before it’s ready, but it’s not going to be very happy about it. And chances are you’re going to get left high and dry long before you ever make your way over to Orgasm Avenue.
But once that engine has had a chance to warm up, things really start humming. Blood begins pooling in the pelvic region and you become increasingly sensitive and open to stimulation. Almost immediately, your vagina starts to become lubricated—something that guys who use what U.S. sexologist Sandor Gardos refers to as “the dipstick approach” to testing for wetness may mistakenly interpret as evidence that you’re ready to plunge into the main course. (Wrong-o, fella! You haven’t even ordered your appetizer yet!)
And, of course, it’s possible to be thoroughly aroused, but low on lube. If you’re a smoker, you’ve been drinking all night, or you’re taking an antihistamine to battle cold and allergy symptoms, you may have difficulty becoming sufficiently lubricated for sex, in which case a quick pitstop at the drugstore may be in order.
Assuming things are going, well, swimmingly on the lubrication front, your body continues to ready itself for intercourse. (Whether or not that’s what you’ve got on your mind is irrelevant. Your sperm-seeking nether regions are programmed for penetration. Remember, getting you pregnant is your body’s secret mission, whether you’re ready to sign up for the Motherhood Club or not.)
Your girly bits are pretty much on auto pilot by now. Your nipples are erect, your breasts feel fuller than usual, your vagina is expanding and lengthening, your uterus moves up and out of the way so that there will be more room in the vagina for your partner’s penis, and, of course, your clitoris is swollen and erect.
The Main Attraction
The clitoris often gets star billing in discussions of female sexual response—and for good reason. According to Lou Paget, author of The Big O, it’s the only organ in the human body—male or female—that is completely dedicated to sexual pleasure. The clitoris certainly comes wired for the job: it can easily match the 6000 to 8000 nerve endings found in a penis; and it exceeds the concentration of nerve fibres you’ll find in other highly sensitive parts of the body, including the fingertips, the lips, and the tongue.
What you might not realize is that there’s more to your clitoris than the pink eraser-sized bit that can be found outside your body. According to Em and Lo, authors of The Big Bang: Nerve’s Guide to the New Sexual Universe, the clitoris is actually a three inch long, wish-bone shaped organ that is almost completely hidden inside your body. (Yep. More fun gyno trivia for your next dinner party!)
Anatomy of an Orgasm
Of course, an orgasm-in-the-making is a whole body experience—not just a project taken on by your clitoris: the muscles throughout your body are tensed up and your heart is beating faster. Every inch of you is positively craving release, hoping against hope that the Orgasm Fairy will swing this way tonight.
And then it happens. A series of muscular contractions occurring at 0.8 second intervals ripple through your genital area. Once the waves of contractions have subsided, your body starts returning to its preorgasmic state—unless, of course, you’re up for a double or triple feature tonight. Women are, after all, capable of experiencing multiple orgasms in rapid succession—a bit of biological oneupmanship that has led science writer Natalie Angier, among others, to wonder how on earth Freud managed to come up with a concept as far fetched as penis envy. (As Angier put it in her book Woman: An Intimate Geography, “Who would want a shotgun when you can have a semiautomatic?”)
While we may have managed to give all that penis envy nonsense the deep six in recent years , we’re not exactly 100% hangup-free quite yet. “The big obsession these days is vaginal orgasms,” says Ottawa-based sex and relationship expert Sue McGarvie. “And we women are not necessarily biologically laid out to make that happen.”
“Intercourse is a much better design for the man than the woman,” adds Gardos. Expecting a woman to achieve orgasm during intercourse is like expecting a man to come while you’re rubbing his testicles but ignoring his penis, he adds. “It may feel good, but it’s unlikely to set off rockets in the bedroom anytime soon.”
G-Whiz Wondering about all the buzz about g-spots? The so-called “pleasure spot,” the g-spot is a dimed-sized section of highly erogenous tissues situated along the front wall of the vagina. It’s named after a German physician named Ernst Grafenberg, who supposedly “discovered” it in the in 1950s. When stimulated, this dime-sized spot can enlarge to the size of a quarter and, in some women, it can lead to a powerful orgasm. Some women, however, find G-spot stimulation to be highly unpleasant—like an overwhelming urge to pee—while others feel nothing at all.
Sex by the Numbers
- Percentage of women who are unable to achieve orgasm through intercourse alone: 70
- Average duration of a male orgasm: 10 to 15 seconds - Average duration of a female orgasm: 19 to 28 seconds
- The time of day when couples are most likely to be having sex, particularly on weekends: 11 p.m.
Poverty in the Midst of Plenty
While some women end up making repeated trips up to the orgasm buffet, some women don’t even end up with a single serving. If you’re one of the 10% of women who struggles with an orgasmia (the inability to achieve orgasm) you may feel, as science writer Natalie Angier puts it, that the clitoris is “the most overhyped and misleading knob of flesh this side of Pinocchio’s nose.” If the conventional wisdom for dealing with anorgasmia doesn’t work for you—e.g., taking a less goal-oriented approach to sex, communicating your sexual needs more directly, and giving your imagination and your pelvic muscles a workout in the bedroom—ask your doctor for a referral to a sex therapist or a psychologist who specializes in treating sexual difficulties.
You also might also want to wave the sexual white flag if vaginismus—the involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles when an attempt is made to penetrate the vagina—is robbing you of the joy of sex. This condition can cause pain ranging from mild discomfort to severe burning and aching. Vaginismus is treated through the use of exercises that teach you how to control and relax the muscles that are tightening involuntarily and to gradually allow penetration. You do, however, have to swear off any attempts at intercourse during the treatment phrase—a bitter pill to swallow in the short term, but definitely worth it if you end up with a new sexual lease on life down the road.
