Mmmmm... kissing is the best. Remember when you were 12 or 13 and you could suck face for hours? Once you become an adult, you don't "neck" anymore. All of a sudden, it's called foreplay. Which means it eventually involves a decision about whether it'll get around to "sex" or not.
Which pisses me off. Cause you know what happens. You're blissfully lost in all that lip action and suddenly a hand is buried in your crotch. Then you lose it. Consciousness storms in and busts up the party. Lips and libidos are suddenly out of step and your brain taps you on the shoulder and says, "Can I cut in?" followed by "Should I grab his thing now?," "How bloated is my stomach?," and "Am I wearing good underwear?" Any trace of those totally hot kisses you were completely caught up in a moment ago vanishes and next thing you know, your kisser kicks into cruise control and you're en route to that final destination.
No, when it comes to kissing, the best thing to do it to put sex out of your mind completely. It's not like that option won't be around later if you're interested. In the meantime, take advantage of the sheer pleasure of savouring your partner's saliva and lingering over their lips.
But of course, like a handshake, the way you kiss leaves a lasting impression and says worlds about whatever else you have to offer. So pucker up on the art of smooching.
DO
Linger. What does it take to get a guy to linger? They never seem to worry about wearing out other parts from overuse. Hang out for a while.
Brush your lips lightly across eyebrows, lids, necks, and earlobes, or any other readily or even not-so-readily available body parts.
Tease. 'Til it hurts.
Open your mouth. Close-lipped kisses bite.
Nibble.
Shave. Ever snuggle up to sandpaper?
Practice good dental hygiene. Picking food particles out of each other's teeth is like junk shopping. It's fun at the time but you never know what to do with the stuff afterwards.
Communicate. Say it with saliva, more passionate than words. The perfect opportunity for verbally-challenged men.
Listen. For signals from your partner. If they're panting heavily or their body suddenly goes limp, there's a good chance you're doing something right. (Though you should probably check if they're still breathing.)
Breathe.
Try to avoid excessive and embarrassing sound effects.
Shift pace and pressure often.
Play. This is supposed to be fun, remember.
DON'T
Insert your tongue unless it's got a purpose. Having somebody else's big wet tongue just lying around into your mouth is right up there with raw liver sucking.
Deep-tongue dive. Especially suddenly. You may induce vomiting and it won't be pretty.
Slobber.
Belch.
Employ the "If it works, stick with it" approach. It's that too-much-of-a-good-thing thing. Six hours of ear-nibbling is probably a tad excessive.
Check your watch.
Kiss too hard. Have you ever been kissed by a bulldozer?
Kiss too soft. Know one likes limp handshakes either.
Suck on your partner's tongue too hard. It hurts, and most of us are fond of our taste buds.
Wear lipstick. It only works in the movies.
Give hickeys. We're only trying to simulate high school here, not relive it.
